Pay careful attention to the format of the example reproduced on the previous page from The Illustrated Field Guide to MORONS Driver’s Edition. If you send us anything that is not in that format, we will consider you for inclusion in an upcoming edition, not as a contributor, but as a moron! Your deathless prose has to fit the format. We’re moronically draconian about that. Just deal with it. Address your submission to:

We regret that we are unable to accept submissions by e-mail or fax. Send us hard copy. We do not accept previously published work. Please note that this includes anything represented currently or previously as part of an online publication. Remember to include your name, address, and phone number. All submissions become the property of Macaw Publishing. Your intellectual property rights are important. Don’t drop your submission in the mail if you don’t intend to transfer ownership of your material to Macaw Publishing. Contributions cannot be acknowledged or returned. A great way to guarantee that we won’t use your material is to pester us about it. Please don't inquire about the status of your submission. We receive a large volume of material, and there are so many morons out there that much of what we receive, even the good stuff, is duplicative of material that others have already submitted. Wow us with a fresh approach that is breathtakingly funny. If you do, and we use your piece essentially as is, and no one else comes up with the same idea, we will try to work your name into the text to give you credit for your contribution. We invite you to include an innovative approach to that in your submission as well. Perhaps your name lends itself to being included in the common name or italicized scientific name of the moron. Perhaps you can include yourself in the picture. Perhaps you can refer to yourself as the person who first discovered or who last reported the moron. Perhaps you can identify yourself as a recognized expert who published an important paper or treatise on the moron in a scientific journal. You get the idea. The sad fact of the matter, however, is that several hundred people may have already submitted material to us that is virtually the same as what you send us. We can’t give everyone credit. In those cases we may elect in our sole discretion to mention your name together with many others in an acknowledgments page. Or we may not mention you at all because so many other people came up with the idea before you did and did it better. We get some great material, but we also get a lot of embarrassingly bad stuff from morons who apparently find it difficult to write in complete sentences in a language that resembles English. Macaw Publishing reserves the right to make substantial editorial changes to the material you submit as well as combine elements of your submission with material that we come up with on our own or that others send to us. So don’t even think about complaining to us if we print something similar to what you submitted to us without crediting you as the contributor. Again, your best bet is to wow us with a fresh approach that is breathtakingly funny.

Illustrations are essential to the Illustrated Field Guide to MORONS series. The foremost concern of Macaw Publishing with respect to illustrations is how art or photography will reproduce in our books. We are looking for illustrations that will reprint well in black and white: crisp photographs are our preference, but we will also consider clear, dark, and visually arresting drawings or line art. If you include a photograph with your submission, and we strongly encourage you to do so, the photograph must be accompanied by a model release for any people in the photograph, or a property release with respect to any property in the photograph, or both, if necessary, to secure permission for us to use the photograph.

• Download form of model release    |    Click here for printable model release
• Download form of property release   |    Click here for printable property release